How to be Confident

When I say you should have no confidence, I do not mean you should have extremely low confidence in yourself. What I mean is you should not have the concept of confidence in your head while you go about whatever it is you do.

To have low confidence is generally associated with negative feelings and worries about oneself: "What will they think of me? I shouldn’t try. They are better at it than me. I’m not good enough." And so on. All these thoughts involve judging yourself which causes you to “realize” how not cut out for the work you are.

Those we consider to have high confidence are often associated with a natural gift or a healthy dose of arrogance. Some people can just do it while some people cannot. Some folks are naturally good at math or speaking. That is just life, right? Whether that is true or not does not matter.

Instead of having high or low confidence, rid yourself of the concept entirely. Instead of thinking “Can I do this?”, you simply just do the work that needs to be done. Don’t consider your feelings or the thoughts of others. Do the job. You don’t think. You do.

This idea came to me from a supposed quote from basketball player Michael Jordan* when asked how he could make so many baskets: “When I throw the ball, I only exist in a universe where that ball goes into the basket.”

Note he is not highly confident the ball will go into the basket. The ball will go into the basket as if it was a law of nature. That is the state of mind I am suggesting. It does not matter if you are afraid to speak in public. You exist in a universe where you go out there and give an amazing speech. Worried about doing poorly in a job interview? Instead, go into that interview knowing you will give a fantastic interview. Maybe you refuse to start on that novel or painting you have been wanting to create because everyone else is so much better at it than you. When you remove the concept of confidence, it does not matter how good other people are at the task you are looking at. You simply create your novel or painting.

This is not self-delusion or overzealous optimism. This is you doing what needs to be done. No need to spend time thinking about how confident you are in your ability to perform. There is no other way around doing your task.

In the Math Lab at my college, students would come in seeking help with algebra problems, but spend the majority of their time being frustrated that they don’t get it and say things like “it’s too hard” or “when will I ever use this?” What is the point of such thinking? It has not and will not help anyone ever. Instead, imagine living in a world where those students knew they were going to figure out the problem, complete it, then move on to whatever it is they really want to do in life. That would save not only time but a lot of negative feelings.

The possibilities are limitless on what you can do if you simply ignore your thoughts and feelings on confidence and instead act with the undeniable fact that you will do whatever it is you are setting out to do.

* While researching this quote for this article, I cannot find the quote from Michael Jordan or anyone else. I may have misread something or twisted words many years ago. However, the concept still applies, and it is worth pretending it is real.